5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
