Say something about gay babies.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
