I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
