If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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