You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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