I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize