So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
