Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize