I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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