i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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