her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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