I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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