I'm going to jail i love you
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They took my balls.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
