Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Randomize
