Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
