you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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