Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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