That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
