Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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