just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
