Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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