He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my poor anus
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize