is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
