I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
how drunk are you?
Several
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
