I cockslap morals
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
