he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
