sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
