Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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