There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize