He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize