ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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