Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
