winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
