She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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