I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize