Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
