just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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