dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize