When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
