Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Your cock deserves a montage
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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