some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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