I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize