Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
