Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
