I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
