my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize