the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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