Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
