oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
