do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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