Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
