This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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