i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
