my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize