in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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