She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
