I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize