Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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