its not stalking. its research.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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