This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I want a musical about memes.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
