The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
