I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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