We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
