Sry I called you an 8
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
