I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A bitchslap is in order.
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