She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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