Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
