I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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