She announced her abortion via fbk
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize