so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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