Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
