Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My dick has a subreddit
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
