Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
