Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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